Just for remedy

i dont mean a thing.

it still hurts.

so tired.

didnt know it could hurt so much.
anws, you dont need me.
i should have never believed in that term.
stupid me.
this feels like primary school.
childish and insecure.
-
anyhow, school has been stressful.
how i wish laughters can be my medicine and make me wheeeeeeeeze past the stress.
mel, it's good not to be stressed.
red camp..cant wait for it to be over cus i really have no time to do my work.
-
umpiring games can be super tiring.
i sprint up and down like crazy and it's still not good enough.
zz, so sad.
-
when im tired i feel like crap, i think like crap.
-
and i really love hi-5! :D hahaha.

school was boring. pretty dreadful from now on because this semester isnt that fun afterall. will have 6hours of field prac on thursday and my timetable really sucks especially cus i've to stay back for puppetry practises for three days in a week! dreadful. but well, it was nice seeing my school friends again i guess. yeap, hopefully i wont hate school even more. so tired. so lazy.
haha i really have a foul mouth; was really mean towards AD behind her back with a group of us. sigh, i must learn to appreciate her and her teaching. haha school..

:D

i would like to have all the youths together more often.
amazing race was definitely good fun. :D
we had our chances to win top 3 but oh well! haha.
i definitely enjoyed my team.
extremely tired since the end of the race but too stubborn to sleep.
haha and i really hope i can go for end of year church camp.
chances are.. im very sure we'll be having tests.

okay, gonna sleep now.
and dream that holidays never end.

watched the time traveler's wife and it was pretty good! hahaha considering that it made me cry like the book did, so yah. the cast was disappointing though! but at least the main leads werent that bad. haha thanks, team. for the movie, dinner, boost(!) and more bonding. yes we are so racial harmonious! hahaha!

meiling, hurry get better soon. (:

i think he's damn good looking. haha thanks to X-men and 27 dresses.
like really, handsome. in some ruggard way. haha yea.



i love the storyline of 27 dresses. watched it again on star movies. <3
i dont mind watching it all the time.
haha, cant wait to go over to liz's house to watch those movies we mentioned.
yay cant say this more, I LOVE SCHOOL HOLS.



gonna have to sleep soon. haha that's new i know.

i think i was upset again.
-
anws, holidays have started and i dont know if i should work!
part of my wants to work to earn money (cus i really need it..) yet the other part wants me to stay home and relax and enjoy holidays. you know, read books, surf the internet and watch my drama serials, exercise(HAHAHA), and meet up with friends without spending too much! lol so, i really dont know. oh wells.
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went back for Staff Day the other day, and i really enjoyed myself. not exactly the programme cus it's not for us, it was the company of friends whom most of them i havent seen for a longgg time. it wasnt very easy to talk to the teachers cus everything was so rushed.. but of course, it was still nice to see teachers who had taught me. there were of course, unfamiliar ones. and argh, although it's inevitable, i still hope that the familiar staff would all still be there each time i go back.

-
sometimes, i think that being single is good.
hahaha no, honestly.
i will be patient. (: lol.
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im watching some taiwanese show. you know those kind of long sappy taiwanese storyline? yeaaaaa. it's called Ai, as in Love - in chinese. you may think that im some aunty. hahaha im watching with my mum and sister. -.- and i have no idea why im quite into it. maybe it's cus i wanna see how that dumb woman would survive. or how that scheming husband of that dumb woman (thanks to her husband who's such an ass, keeps lying to her and yet she has no choice but still stick with him) will end up to be. so many love triangles, im absorbed into the mess. i just feel like i wanna know what will happen. zz, i know.
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i love my mum.
she's always worrying that i've got not enough to eat. lol.
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my very two helpful and indispensable fellow councillors in the foreground.
i miss the times in sports school.

there are so many things i wish i could change about myself.
im tired of so many things.

the journey's still long.

i learn this everyday: do not expect anything from anyone, i may be disappointed.

If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Michael Jordan

im back. and im tired.
i dont wanna be back.
but a few things i've learnt to appreciate in singapore,
1. there are not so many flies here! (there everywhere also have. quite gross)
2. there wouldnt be a HUGE DISGUSTING ARMY OF ANTS crawling all over the area with food stains (YUCKKKK)
3. eh, seems like that's it. HAHA QUITE PATHETIC! oh wells!
4. oh, food here cheaper. (but just cus island place must import things, so of course much more expensive)

so many things to talk about.
too lazy.
gonna sleep.







i think spongebob very funny!
squidward: we have to go on strike and get employee's benefits!
spongebob: yay let's go on a strike!
spongebob: I'm going on strike! I'm going on strike! I'm going on strike! I'm going on strike! (i dont know what that is) but I'm going on strike!

HAHAHAHA.

im sitting here, dreading to go school. :/
cant decide to bring my laptop or not(for the 3 hours break)..
i honestly honestly cant wait for 3years to end.
hah, compare 3hours to 3years. it's crazy!
with my attitude about school now, i doubt i can do well to go to a good uni.
tsk.


im afraid that i'll do some reckless things.
:/



not feeling good today.



it's always depressing to watch romance cus i know i'll never have it my way.

i still miss ce.

anyways, i really enjoyed myself at queenie's place ystd.
no idea how it turned out so great cus we really havent been out as a team for like ages..
but thank God, (:







we took a lot of photos, talked and laughed a lot. especially about incidents last time blah.. (: haha cherie and i accidentally got soaked. we played taboo(my team got owned..), twister and bop it. DAMN FUN. :D
stayed till 1130. thank God queenie lives quite near me. HAHA(: 


champions(:
thanks for the memories.

im exhausted.
trngs.
they were good though, (:

alright, i think im still upset cus the knot will never be untied.
well i dont know how lah.

im getting tired with it.

what's this feeling i get?
i miss you too but..

i wanna go on a trip with you. experience God together. do QT together. and just, grow spiritually together. you're probably hoping for ___ to become a christian soon and then you two can do such stuff. but i chope you first. if that's even possible. hahaha.

i thought that trng was good today! i had fun i guess. really went all out despite my ankle being so blah. just taped it up real tightly which made my arch hurt like madddd but still worth everything. i sound like some fanatic idiot over netball. HAHAHA it's just this team, (:

I AM COUNTING DOWN TO HOLIDAYS! :D (but not really also. projects and projects and projects. ) UH-OH.

people just dont get satisfied easily.
they keep wanting for more when they've got what they initially wanted.

sat out of trng ystd cus my ankle was hurting so badly. and it kinda sucks to watch how much the team is pushing and there i was sitting around like some slacker/useless bum? haha but yea, i gotta take care of my ankle or else there really is no future. and no thanks, i dont wanna think about that. hahaha, well it's all about living in the present right? what you have now, you should make full use of it. it's ironic how we're told to look ahead, set a goal and reach it. and then they also say that you gotta live in the present cus we should not take life for granted. my short term plans for the present definitely are the obstacles for my long term goals that i want to achieve in life. haha, it's quite a struggle cus i dont know what to do. so it all comes back to being close to God so that i know what He wants me to do. haha i cant just do what i want to do in life cus God created us to glorify Him and by that, we need to do what He calls us to do. i was very sure I would do things for God, like go to developing countries and help the ppl there. so i wanted to take up nursing, have some medical knowledge. or something related to serving God lah. but now, im just so caught up with netball esp 19s PS(80%) and school (hardly cus im still not that attached to the course/lecturers/friends so like not much energy spent there :/) haha so yea, i cant exactly tear away from netball cus some ppl in the team are just so enthusiastic that it makes me enthu again. you see, plans change. cus i rmbr about 1 year ago, i wanted to quit netball knowing that im not good enough and not tough enough to take the trngs. not that im better now, but i enjoy being in the team cus of the friends who are highly retarded like i mean fun and all. so reality now, it seems that i want to go for whatever outing we've plan and just while the time away with them. :/ i've cast aside more impt things and that shouldnt be it. i honestly need to be more disciplined and see the bigger picture and still live life to the fullest. haha okay, this is overwhelming cus i just yakked on. sorry folks.

it's nice to know that my good friend's in very good hands.
it's nice to know that you love her so much.
i know that i can take a step back already.
actually i knew it from the start but i was just reluctant.


cus it hurts to be disappointed.

i miss council. i miss council camp. i miss ssp. i miss the teachers. i miss the friends. i miss the whole environment. i wish i could be there the whole time: watching jeanne, raina and ryan etc grow up, talk to teachers in their homeroom even if class ended already, stay up late into the night to talk to roommates/dorm mates/level mates, train..and everything.
everything. (:
having been to council camp these 2 days really brought back memories..
george,jp,yusof,sheeeena,jq,daphne,vas,dan,dom,fudin,des,divya,and so on. sweet.
well, really happy that this batch is strong! (: and eager i suppose. (:
BLUE RIBBON PROJECT! :D

i wonder where's dan; are you in singapore?


oh so tired..





you make me not believe in you.